{"id":144120,"date":"2024-05-17T11:20:18","date_gmt":"2024-05-17T15:20:18","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/couragerc.org\/?p=144120"},"modified":"2024-06-25T08:24:40","modified_gmt":"2024-06-25T12:24:40","slug":"a-mothers-heart-part-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/couragerc.org\/a-mothers-heart-part-3\/","title":{"rendered":"A Mother’s Heart – Part 3"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is the third of a five-part entry written by \u201cAnonymous”.
\nRead Part 1<\/a> and Part 2<\/a>.<\/i><\/p>\n

Checking Boxes<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

Let\u2019s admit it, we have ALL looked askance at our neighbor and said in our heart of hearts, \u2018I\u2019m glad I\u2019m not like that person.\u2019 Sound familiar? It should. I believe there was a Pharisee who said about the exact same thing while praying in the temple in the gospel of Luke. Going a step further, I bet we have all scanned the heads of our fellow parishioners in the pews and taken mental note of the hair not quite right, the untucked shirt, the skirt too short, the sleeves a bit too revealing or, Lord forbid, the piercings and the blue hair. (No, she never came to church with blue hair.) I know you have done it. Because I have too. I recall as a young mother, with that \u2018the buck stops here with me\u2019 attitude, certain that my child would never do such and such. My husband and I would never have allowed our child to do thus and so. Because we were going to do things Right. Without realizing it, I had fallen into a checklist mentality for living out my faith. And this is a mentality that is a trap for faithful Catholics, indeed, for anyone striving to live a holy Christian life after the pattern of Our Lord.<\/p>\n

What do I mean by a \u201cchecklist mentality?\u201d By this, I mean a mentality that searches for the perfect recipe for living out our vocation, in my case, of raising children, of living out a vocation to the family life in the role of wife and mother. It\u2019s a mode of living that is concerned with checking the boxes that will guarantee a successful outcome. The outcome being, children who will never leave the faith (indeed, not even deviate one iota or question or step out of line), become saints even, and where we as parents can stand back and admire what?\u2026OUR work. Self-satisfied and content.<\/p>\n

But I am telling you, this does not always work. I\u2019m sharing with you the pain of my mother\u2019s heart so you realize that this is not always the case. I think young families, understandably so, look for the role model family to pattern their lives after. \u2018If only my kids could be like their kids. Their kids are so respectful, so studious, so obedient, so reverent\u2026\u2019 etc. etc. And so, they plant their flag there. Only to find that, perhaps, sin visits them as well as the next person. Sin, the lot we are ALL born into, that we cannot escape, that cuts across ALL families. I\u2019m here with my mother\u2019s aching heart to warn you, be careful how you judge\u2026lest you too be judged. (ref: Matt. 7:1)<\/p>\n

\u201cWhat did I do wrong?\u201d<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

When a child goes astray the tendency as a parent is to ask \u2018What did I do wrong? Where did I fail? As a mother, as a father?\u2019 As valid as this self-reflection is for a conscientious parent, it also belies a bit of pride, does it not? As if my child\u2019s salvation and walk with Christ is entirely dependent upon me! We parents all appreciate hearing the phrase \u2018You should be so proud. Your son\/daughter is such a credit to you.\u2019 Only in the past several years have I come to distrust that phrase. As much as I\u2019d like to relish that compliment, my first thought now is \u2018You want to see my other child? You may not be saying we\u2019re so perfect.\u2019 So, if I can\u2019t take the blame for one child who goes astray, can I really take the credit for those who don\u2019t? No, not really. In the case of our daughter saying she is now \u201ctrans\u201d the anguish we have experienced as parents, while grappling with confusion, anger and loss, is compounded when the greater Christian community asks the same question. What did they do wrong? To which parent can we trace the sin? \u2018Well, it\u2019s all because the mother did\u2026.\u2019 fill in the blank. \u2018If the father had only been more\u2026\u2019 you finish the phrase. I know people think this, because at some point in time in my life, I have thought it about others myself.<\/p>\n

I carry this wound to my mother\u2019s heart. We ask God to let us participate in his suffering\u2026but as long as it\u2019s an acceptable suffering. What I mean by that is, as long as it is a suffering that appears noble, or that elevates the piety of the one doing the suffering. We may not realize it but often, when we desire to suffer \u201cfor Christ\u201d, we are thinking of suffering that entails loss, or pain, illness, persecution for the faith. But this suffering of mine is, well, embarrassing. This causes side-glances and misunderstanding. This suffering is confusing to parents and siblings alike. Unfortunately, I think society has become complacent about certain sins. We \u201caccept\u201d certain youthful transgressions as we like to call them. \u201cShe\u2019s living with her boyfriend\u2026I know, it\u2019s not ideal, but\u2026\u201d Or, \u201cHe\u2019s just going through his rebellious drinking-in-college phase. I know, it\u2019s not what we want for him, but\u2026\u201d But isn\u2019t all sin a turning away from God? Isn\u2019t it always a refusal to become who God intends for us to become?<\/p>\n

I don\u2019t intend to go into the nuances of what leads a person to choose a trans lifestyle. I have my theories about that that come from observation and experience. But they are certainly not the world\u2019s view. My view is that the trans lifestyle is one that is in complete opposition to the Christian way of life. Which makes it, the trans lifestyle, so tyrannical. It is a whole package. The chooser can\u2019t possibly keep the same relationships they had with family members and friends of their \u201cpast.\u201d That earlier person simply doesn\u2019t exist, so they say. The whole idea of being in a family as a certain member, having been given a title, a role, a relationship, is rejected. The world would say we are being unkind. Narrow minded. Un-charitable. And this type of suffering of the parents and family members is not one most people want to share in. This is the suffering from wounds to a parent\u2019s heart when an adult child leaves the faith, indeed runs to the far country, and is all but dead to the family who\u2019s left to grieve.<\/p>\n

Read Part 4<\/span><\/a>
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

\n

* * *<\/p>\n

The opinions and experiences expressed in each blog entry in “The Upper Room” belong solely to the original authors and do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of Courage International, Inc. Some entries have been edited for length and clarity.<\/span><\/span><\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

This is the third of a five-part entry written by \u201cAnonymous”. Read Part 1 and Part 2. 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