Change is inevitable, and within this span of time there have been numerous transitions. We’ve changed sports- gone are the days of volleyball. We’ve adjusted to varying locations- Princeton Theological Seminary in New Jersey, St. Charles Seminary in Philadelphia, and our current home- Neumann University, in Aston, PA. But the one thing that hasn’t changed after all these years is the fellowship, camaraderie, and brotherhood that brings participants, coaches, and priest chaplains returning year after year. As one participant of this year’s Sports Camp stated – “this is the most comfortable I’ve ever felt in my own skin in a group of men.”

Our 25th anniversary yielded fierce competition. Our first game, football, was won by the Dolphins. Despite being drenched after a sudden downpour, the Lions, however, proved victorious later that day in our softball game.

The next day began with soccer. The Dolphins believed they were the underdogs with several strong soccer players on the Lions team, but after serious hustle the Dolphins took the lead.

Pushing through our soreness, we finished our set of sports with basketball. The Lions, knowing a victory could lead to a tiebreaker, came together and proved triumphant. As is the case for many Sports Camps prior- a free throw shoot out was required to determine which team would receive the coveted Harvey Cup. Each team, in a single-file line, takes turns sending a team member to attempt a free throw basket, followed by a member of the opposing team- no pressure there! By just one basket, the Lions earned the title as champions of Sports Camp XXV.

After working up a serious appetite, the festivities of the evening did not disappoint- including a reception/happy hour with catered hors d’oeuvres followed by a buffet-style dinner.

Participants were offered a heartfelt and humorous talk about the origins of Sports Camp from one of its founders. Current and former directors of Sports Camp shared their own stories and memories with the group. In addition, former Executive Director of Courage, Fr. Paul Check, contributed an inspiring video message congratulating Sports Camp on its 25th Anniversary. The night ended with a celebration of our time together with a formal party. Complete with karaoke, it was this time our vocal chords, not our muscles, that were put to work!

While team mates certainly played hard, they also prayed hard. Daily Mass, morning and evening prayer, and Confessions were offered throughout the weekend to foster bonding with the true VIP- Jesus Christ.

For each game in Sports Camp, coaches present medals to each member of the winning team saying, “through your perseverance, you are victorious.” Let’s pray for each other- members, chaplains, and friends of the Courage/Encourage Apostolate, that we may keep fighting the good fight and hear these same words by our Heavenly Father. Here’s to 25 years of Sports Camp, and God-willing, 25 more!

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Brian R. is a 36 year old in the Washington, DC area who works as a hospice nurse. He has been involved with Courage since 2018 and is active in the Baltimore, Washington, and Arlington chapters. He loves outdoor activities with friends, coffee and a good book, and quiet time in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

The opinions and experiences expressed in each blog entry in “The Upper Room” belong solely to the original authors and do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of Courage International, Inc. Some entries have been edited for length and clarity.

The post A Silver Jubilee – 25 Years of Sports Camp appeared first on Courage International, Inc..

He loves like a brother. 

His love requires self-denial; self-control. He strives to protect his own soul and the souls of all he encounters. He offers a generative love that helps others flourish and thrive. 

He loves like a father.  

In his longings and temptations, he loves with a submissive spirit. He offers his sufferings for the conversion of family and friends, the strengthening of marriages, the flourishing of vocations to the priesthood and religious life, the protection of the unborn, and that all souls may know the love and mercy of our gracious Father.  

He loves like Jesus.  

When he falls short, he runs right to the arms of his merciful Father in the sacrament of Reconciliation. He is given the grace, the encouragement, and the love to keep trying. He does not hate himself for his shortcomings, but gratefully receives the tender and forgiving gaze of our Lord.  

He is loved as the prodigal son.  

How different would our world look if men took more seriously the beautiful and noble call to chastity? How would the hearts of men change if they could see this virtue as a gift – both to themselves, and others?  

Thanks be to God for the Courage Apostolate, which helps those of us with same-sex attractions to strive for this brotherly, fatherly, Christ-like love. And so too for the gift of helping us more fully realize our identity as beloved sons. Let’s hope that through our imperfect witness, we may play a small part in helping the world to better understand this often ignored but desperately needed virtue.  

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Brian R. is a 33 year old in the Washington, DC area who works as a hospice nurse. He has been involved with Courage since 2018 and is active in the Baltimore, Washington, and Arlington chapters. He loves outdoor activities with friends, coffee and a good book, and quiet time in front of the Blessed Sacrament.

The opinions and experiences expressed in each blog entry in “The Upper Room” belong solely to the original authors and do not necessarily reflect the views and policies of Courage International, Inc. Some entries have been edited for length and clarity.

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Since college, this question has been a source, at best, of discomfort; at worst, of insecurity. Those who ask are well-meaning; most simply just making conversation. I usually respond with a simple “Not at the moment” trying to play it cool, but I feel my pulse race and body become tense. After answering “Not at the moment” several times to the same person, my mind goes to the question… “What if they find me out…what if they know I have same-sex attractions?”

For some background…

I went to college at a Protestant school with a “ring before spring” culture – many students anxious and eager to get engaged before graduation. A frequent topic of conversation was one’s dating life; or lack thereof. I remember at times being asked the oh-so-common “Are there any girls in your life?” question, and sometimes throwing out names of women who I found pretty and engaging in conversation. There likely was little romantic attraction, but I felt it “covered me” from being “found out.”

One instance, in particular, stands out.

I’m 21 years old, in a bunk room in San Jose, Costa Rica on a short-term study abroad trip. The five of us men in the bunk room know each other fairly well, as we are all students together at our college in the U.S. It’s late and the lights are out. But the chatter continues. Here it comes:

“So, Brian, any girls in your life?”

Something about being in this bunk room, at night, in the dark, with four other men intensifies the worry of being “found out.” The best I could do was say “I’m content with being single right now.” A response from one of the bunkmates was less than flattering…

“Single and content…that’s what you always say! I’m starting to think you’re gay!”

Again, my heart races…more so than usual! I’m humiliated and don’t know what to say; hoping no one continues the conversation or asks further questions. All I can assume is that they now feel uncomfortable sharing a bunk room with me…

Fast-forward a decade or so, after returning to the Catholic church, this question strikes a deeper chord. It’s no longer so much the “Are you dating anyone?” question I receive, but instead “Are you married?”, “Any kids?” And for these too, I can sense a similarly defensive feeling. I still occasionally worry they may assume I experience same-sex attractions, but I also falsely assume they wonder what’s “wrong” with me for not having a more vowed state of life. Do they assume I’m lazy, afraid of commitment, or selfish? Without having a more obvious role of leading, protecting, and providing for by giving myself to a wife and children, a religious community, or through pastoring a parish, I wonder if in the eyes of others I’m somehow not a “real” man? If I’m honest, this can sometimes lead to feelings of envy and self-pity. But as Catholics, we don’t allow feelings to rule us but truth!

What is the truth?

Using reason and faith, I can answer these aforementioned “what if” questions in the following ways:

1. What if they “figure me out?”  Who cares! None of us are defined by our attractions. If anything, the Church benefits by the witness of men and women with same-sex attractions striving to give themselves fully to God and live a faithful life based on the truth and fullness of Catholic teaching.
2. What if they don’t think I’m a “real” man for not having a vowed vocation?  They’re wrong! We are blessed to have a number of canonized lay saints, both men and women, who remained single and in the world: St. Guiseppe Moscati, St. Catherine of Siena, and St. Benedict Joseph Labre come to mind. These men and women became the men and women God wanted them to be, and by doing so became great saints.

I do feel the Church would benefit from further explaining the meaning and importance of spiritual motherhood and fatherhood for those living in the world. But it seems to me that for those of us who are single, the question we should ask ourselves each day is “What can I do to be a gift to others?” Perhaps by doing so – and consequently seeing and providing for the needs of others we encounter – we are taking a simple step to living the spiritual parenthood we are called to. We must remember that no (worldly) relationship, state in life, or circumstance whatsoever will ever leave us truly fulfilled in this life. Feelings of emptiness are something we all face; but if we allow Him to, God can use this feeling of emptiness to draw us nearer to Him. By doing so, each of us comes closer and closer to becoming the saint we are intended to be.

Thanks be to God!

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Saint Bernard wrote of the wounds of Christ, reminding us that “through the opening of these wounds I may drink honey from the rock and oil from the hardest stone; that is, I may taste and see that the Lord is sweet…” for “where does your love, your mercy, your compassion shine out more luminous than in your wounds, sweet, gentle, Lord of mercy?” 

And after his death on the cross, it was these same wounds of Jesus – his impaled hands and feet, his pierced side, that caused the Apostle Thomas to believe in the resurrected Christ; to cry out “my Lord, my God.”

So when we are asking God to heal our own wounds – what is it we are really asking for? Healing in our eyes often means removing. But the two are not always synonymous… Could it be that removing these wounds prevents us from being instruments of God’s love, mercy, and compassion? Could it be that our personal wounds – no matter how deep, painful, or seemingly ugly they may appear to be – are actually what allows others to better see, know, and believe in the resurrected Christ, just as doubting Thomas did?

On a personal level, I have, through God’s grace, made many strides in chaste living. But let’s just say chastity was not always a pursuit of mine. And as a result, I am unquestionably wounded after years of feeding sexual addiction. Consequences of this wound, coming from my own sinful choices, at times still impact the way I think and perceive things. So often this can result in feelings of shame and self-hatred, and I plead for God to take away the ugliness of these wounds. But perhaps if I am open to God’s version of healing, not merely my own version of healing, God will use this to encourage others who are struggling with addictions of their own. Or maybe God will also use these wounds to allow me to be more patient with those who are caught in the grips of sin in their own life

My wounds of rejection, or perceived inadequacy – could they be tools for Christ’s compassion to be shared with those who feel alone or misunderstood? To allow me to be a brother to those who may otherwise feel like outsiders? Only God knows, but I must give Him permission to use them as He wills.

I can’t say I’ve always felt this way about my woundedness… for many years in my life, I put on a facade of sorts, hiding the perceived dark or embarrassing aspects of my life from others, even those closest to me. Joining Courage certainly helped me in changing this. As much as we share laughter and meals together, we also, in the appropriate circumstances, offer raw vulnerability – exposing our wounds and our brokenness to one another. Yet through my own sharing with our chaplains and brother and sister members, whether in a group or in an individual manner, I’ve found that the wounds I see as hideous in myself in no way make me unlovable to others. It is my hope that I can help others, regardless of what their wounds might be, to feel the same way.

Just as the wounds inflicted on Christ caused immense pain and suffering, our own inner wounds brought by sin may cause us immense pain and suffering as well. Yet to better know and imitate Christ, we too must better know and understand suffering – and perhaps more importantly learn how to trust God in the midst of it. With Jesus at my side and the help of Courage, I never have to carry these wounds, these crosses, on my own…nor do other members of the Apostolate.

As a nurse, I deal with all types of physical wounds. I can attest to the unfortunate reality that the healing of physical wounds often causes discomfort. Cleaning and dressing wounds can be quite painful to the patient. Unsightly scabbing or scarring may occur. The process of healing can be arduous and burdensome. And it’s important to note that even when healed, remnants of the wound often remain, sometimes permanently, with the patient. But these remnants of the wound need not disappear for the tissue to be healthy and perform its function for the greater body.

Perhaps the same can be said about our internal wounds. These inner wounds of mine may never be completely taken away in this life, but just as with the physical wounds of Jesus, I trust that my own internal wounds can be used for the greater body of Christ if I surrender them to our omnipotent, merciful, and compassionate Father – the Divine Physician, who knows far more than I the healing I need to be made whole.

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